Do guys generally have bad intentions when dating single moms?
Golden asked:
I’m 22 and I have an awesome 4 month old baby boy.
I’m 22 and I have an awesome 4 month old baby boy.
I would like to meet guys and start dating, but it has come to my attention that guys often have bad intentions and assume single moms are desperate and an easy lay.
I’m not desperate though..I have college education, support from my son’s dad and our families, financial resources, and I’m not ugly.
I now kind of hesitate if a guy starts liking me because I worry of getting used. Should I be worried? Do guys think this way towards single moms?
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February 6th, 2010 at 3:18 pm
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being a guy i wouldn’t say that all guys have those intentions and thoughts. if i dated you i would absolutely respect you and love to get to know you, you seem like a great woman.answer my question please
February 9th, 2010 at 6:09 pm
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No! Don’t think the worst of people! Some guys yes but usually it is easy to spot the sleazy ones. Choose the ones that seem interested in getting to know you better and not your body. We as girls can usually sense that kinda stuff at least I can good luck!
February 10th, 2010 at 2:05 am
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Sincerity is the kind of person we all seek, regardless of which gender we are in life. The personality, and wit along with an attractive package is wayyyy too much fo any guy to expect or the other way around. I would be most worried if someone comes on too strong in the beginning mainly due to my first word printed in my reply. Honesty and sincerity blend together in being real and being able to recognize it. Observing the person when he or she is speaking with you, or any body gestures given in their Animated personality to display who they truly are. Not being desperate shows how cautious you have started to become and that’s admirable. No body likes being exploited or used in relationships and thinking she will be guiding him to the sack because she is a single mom is naive and immature…..Definitely a choice to dismiss and move on to a real man who cares more about people first….
February 10th, 2010 at 6:34 am
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No some guys think single moms just want a father figure and they are the ones afraid of being used. Some are not ready for ready made families so they look for the wrong things in single moms. BUT there are lots of guys who will love you and your child!
February 11th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
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Some guys might but me or my friends do not you just have to give every guy a chance and find yourself a nice Scottish boy
February 12th, 2010 at 2:39 pm
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NO
February 14th, 2010 at 1:21 am
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Ok, Lemme be your girlfriend for now ok, just think of me as a women and ponder over what im gonna write from both my male side and feminine side
1) Protect your emotional side, I know being a women we all need that emotional support from someone special but right now you have a baby and what you do is in small part is gonna affect him,
2) As a guy I have been the girlfriend to so many of my girlfriend, the reason some men thinks single mom is out for sex is because of this. In my experiance and the experiance of my guy friends so many single mom uses sex as a tool to get into the head of a man, and in the mans point of view this is so disrespectfull, because we feel used. Yup i know this is the first time you hearing this but us guy have our dignity too. Some women do come for sex so most men act out of experiance thinking that single mom do want sex until they are proven wrong. You want to love a man then prove him wrong but dont hate him because we all act out of experiance
3) I know you can live on your own, but you still have to be the “women“ to the men who likes you, dont push your life`s agenda into him in the earlier part, be honest, yes its a hard thing to do with nature but you have to because you have no choice, if you beleive being fake and acting like a single person would get you the men you are simply gonna hurt yourself
4) Some men kinda stays away not because of the baby, but simply because they have this kinda question in their head and the questions is:
a) Hmm I like her but I dont know where is this going and it wouldnt be fair to her or her baby, she is allready in a spot so i better dont stir up anything now
b) Hmm I like the baby he is so cute, but can I be the father to him ? dammit I dont know a thing about being a father, I never was there when she was pregnant, I miss caring for her and the baby, can I care for the baby ?
c) I didnt plan anything yet and now im gonna be a father ?
d) Do I make enought to support both of them ? I know she has all the money, but it doesnt make me a man for not supporting them
5) Ok now for the postive points for you to look at, first of all have a certain set of rules in your head, dont make this rules out of concrete because at times you need to follow the flow, simply fall in love, yes fall in love and be honest about where you are in your life with your love interest, start out fresh. Dont be affraid to get hurt early in the relationship because its better to be early then late, so that you can move on with your life and your babies life
6) DONT DONT DONT use sex to get guys, in the modern times it doesnt work, Be your own women and live your life till you get love, dont go searching for it right now, but dont be stupid to push of everyman that you assume is looking for sex, I dont know where women get this idea, too much movies maybe. I have piercing, I have tatoo`s, I look like your MTV guy but I have moral values, I dont sleep around, I dont drink, I beleive in Family value`s. So dont assume every guy is bad
7) You are young, dont worry because you have the support of your family, and I know you have your own life too, so keep doing what you are doing and give every guy a chance. The moment your brain tries to stereotype us guys then you are in for a heartbreak because this is not like the movies, not every nice guy has a tag on his shirt that says he is a nice guy, I have been the victim of stereotyping for all my life and that is why I am not letting anything go because i dont beleive in being someone else to prove im nice, so dont miss out on this kinda guy
Love yourself, lemme tell you a little secret of the guy, every guys looks for the fun girl,sexy girl but when they wanna settle down they all want a nice girl, morally sound and someone they can present to their family as their wife. dont get all britney spears now, ha ha ha, wow thats the first time i wrote that
9) Judge people, yes judge people, you know whats the biggest lie people tell you on the public ? its not to judge anyone. thats the biggest BS. I didnt ask you to stereotype but to judge the person once the person behaves badly because you need to, because now you need to know whats good and whats bad, you need to judge because you need to know whats is the best for you and your boy, I know im gonna get thumbed down for this but this is the reality. We all judge things that are suitable for us or not
10) Dont ever take your place as a single mom as a bad thing, dont ever worry about telling your boy about their father, dont ever worry about what other people think about you, Dont ever worry about the b*tches that put you down, yes i know, sometimes the worst thing that can happen to a women is not a man but the other women in your lives that put you down so much, you think men dont see this ? we see but we cannot get into your league, you dont have to prove that you are a good women,
I would give you a hug if im there, but you know what even this is consider as a sexual move in the modern world, so much bad image has been potrayed by media about men too, that is the reason why so many men changed because its tired trying to prove women we are not in a motivation, sometimes women makes the men like this,
I wanna wish you and your baby many great times ahead, I love you for you are a part ot nature, close your eyes and accept it and in the near future please give out the same love to others who needs it, May lord shiva bless you Om shanti